One word can summon up this year for me. “Change.” Tons of if.
Tidal waves of it. So much that I feared that insanity would take
over, and I would give in and let the waves carry me away. Everything
changed. Many of the changes were good. Most of them were stressful.
In 2013 I traveled overseas for the first time, conquered my fear and
got my driver's license, bought a car, bought my first house, quit
the job I had had for six years, got a new one, started sculpting.
Yeah, I've been a little busy. Almost every major aspect of the
average person's life that could change did. Travel, home, job, car, aspirations. (Okay there IS one more, but we are sooo not going there. Not yet,
despite what DH may desire. :p)
And all of this in the wake of my father's passing. I spent a lot
of the year feeling like I had dual personalities. One “me”
embraced all the change, as a way to distance myself, as a way to
prove that good things could still happen to me. The other me wanted
to hide, wanted to hide away and curl up in grief. To be honest, that
part of me won, a lot. I needed it, I know, but it's an odd feeling.
It's almost as if I woke up in October and went,
“Huh, what? Where am I? What just happened?”
As I face the end of the year I feel myself standing on the edge
of a cliff. I can see in the distance who I want to be. What I need
to be happy. It's so close, but I'm not there yet. All the pieces
are there, now I just have to grab those ends and tie them
altogether.
The condo is a huge victory. Having our own space is such a
positive change, one I am so grateful for. The husband and I will
finally be able to be free to be ourselves. “Ourselves” are
creative, messy, and often highly inappropriate people, haha. We have been
cramped, both physically and emotionally living with the in-laws.
And I'm sure that I will be totally happy.... once I am through the
exhaustion and stress of renovation. (Surely the anger and desire to
smash things into oblivion with a sledgehammer will fade, no?)
It's a difficult thing to “wake up” a year and a half later
and not quite know how to process everything, and not quite know who
or what you are anymore. It's something I am still working through.
It's not necessarily bad, it's just that you can't go through all
that without coming out the other side a little different than you
were. Thank the gods for my husband, because he has been my rock, and
without him I'm not sure I would have made it out in one piece.
In just a few days I will be going home. I think I really need
this trip right now. I think it will ground and center me. The last
year and 9 months have been absolutely earth shattering for me.
Literally from the lowest low, to some pretty high highs. Everything
changed, and it's not done with me yet.
Freezing my ass off
(while I am mocked for my "thinned blood" with family and friends will remind me of the things that will never
change, and I so need that right now. I am so lucky to have so many
anchors in my life. To have people that been there during both my
happiest and saddest times is a blessing. (Like physically, if I need
them, they are there, which I find amazing, considering I now live in
a different state, and only see them once a year or so.)
So I don't know what 2014 will bring, who does? More change?
Probably. But with the help of all those anchors, I think I will make
it through.
By GoblinGal
#change #newyear
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
To Make a Goblin (aka Yule Terror.)
So while I am on this Yuletide goblin kick I thought I'd show you my latest goblin but also how I made her. Curious how a goblin starts out? Well, it looks something like this.
Isn't she lovely? So shiny, so blue..
These here are the pieces of armature (like a skeleton,) that I build the goblin off of. Because it is a pretty small piece I am able to get away with a small, fairly crude armature. Her insides are in fact, aluminum foil and painter's tape. (I usually prefer masking tape, but couldn't find mine atm.) In larger sculptures or dolls, more elaborate armatures with bases and wire are required.
The armature allows you to have basic, solid shape to work off of, rather than clay throughout. You don't want to use all clay because 1) It's too thick, and your clay will not bake right. (Think of brownies that are burnt on the outside, but still dough inside.) 2) It wastes clay! Think of all that beautiful clay and the cool faces and outsidey-parts it could be, rather than being buried somewhere in a goblin stomach. (With a number of other unsavory objects, I would imagine.)
So then I put my lovely armature together.
If this was a post about drawing the pictures wouldn't
progress, any farther than this. Stick figures, that's all I got.
Yay! That is looking vaguely humanoid! At this point I give the whole thing a covering in goblin-skin tone clay. I could, like many doll makers, use a wire and cloth armature, and sculpt only the head, arms, legs, etc, but at this size, I find that a waste of time. She's quite little so it's just easier, for me anyway, to make her a full sculpture piece.
I get the armature layered in a base coat of clay, adding extra material to the head, since the face will be the most manipulated. Then I positioned her on the ornament to get the pose right. The hands were done first, to get them out of the way, because who likes doing hands? Actually, they aren't as bad as they seem. Take an oval shaped ball, flatten it slightly and then just cut slashes into it to make each finger. Then you use a small brush and clay softener to smooth out the ridges, press the very tip of a knife barely in each finger at the end to make a nail, and "draw" in some knuckles with a pointy clay tool or knife.
The face took me some time. Since the eyes are glass beads, I start working with the eyes first, embedding them and getting eyelids, sockets etc done first. I wanted a softer look than the first one. So next, I added a triangular chin, thinking it would look "elegant." The face came out very "grey alien" so I ended up squishing the who face in and making it rounder. I chose a smaller cuter goblin nose, and the ears, well the ears are just fun.
So this is her finished and baked but before paint or clothes. Paint for a skin tone is added almost like a stain, brown slightly watered down paint is spread on then wiped off with a paper towel. The clothes are tricky, I'm still getting the hang of them. Mostly I am making them up as I go, but I figure that's probably pretty close to how goblins pick their clothes anyway.
So here she is painted clothed and finished.
Here she is on the tree
Thanks so much for all the love for the new goblins! I am so excited to finally get started in this genre of art and so excited to make more little goblins to terrorize the neighborhood.
~ By Goblin Gal
#Christmas #elf #Goblin #Sculpting Goblins
Monday, December 9, 2013
Christmas Mischief
Recently I set out to stop procrastinating and start sculpting! I am very good with coming up with ideas and not so great at actually getting around to them. I've made a few fae creatures, but I am still very very new to polymer clay, and even sculpting in general. But hey, this blog needs more Goblins! So I made it my mission to actually start and finish a piece. (With a house that needs renovating, and Christmas around the corner, that is actually quite a feat.) With Christmas creeping ever closer, I wanted to make something a little festive. When I thought of what mischievous thing little Goblins would get up to for the yuletide I immediately thought of the Christmas tree. Goblins, much like cats are irresistibly attracted to shiny objects. It didn't take very long for this little guy to pop into my head.
Here he is gleefully climbing and playing on this lovely red ornament. I know I still have a lot to learn, but for only my third or so polymer sculpture, I'm quite pleased with how he turned out. He is also the first I used glass eyes for, which made a huge difference in his realism compared to my first two. This was also the first time using a paint wash to get a more complex skin tone.
Here is a shot of him off the tree. (The glue is still drying though.)
Notice the traditional cat-like pose of "Ooo shiny!"
Here he is gleefully climbing and playing on this lovely red ornament. I know I still have a lot to learn, but for only my third or so polymer sculpture, I'm quite pleased with how he turned out. He is also the first I used glass eyes for, which made a huge difference in his realism compared to my first two. This was also the first time using a paint wash to get a more complex skin tone.
Here is a shot of him off the tree. (The glue is still drying though.)
I greatly enjoyed making him, and I'm sure more of his friends are on the way very soon. I am very excited to continue sculpting and improve with each try. Thanks for stopping by, and Happy Yule!
~By GoblinGal
#Christmas #elf #christmasgoblin #goblinornament #goblin #polymerclay #fantasyart #souglyitscute
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
A Matter of Millennials.
And now for a brief angry rant-like detour away from the world of geeks and crafts.
Okay guys, seriously the anti-millennial crap....it's getting old. Even though I know this will surely only get me lectured... I was born in 1986. I am the dreaded millennial..*le gasp* I have had a job since I was 15. Today, I have a great office job, a condo and a car which I pay for all by myself. I am married. By every nuclear 1950's definition of "THIS IS HOW EXACTLY HOW EVERYONE'S LIFE SHOULD BE." I am completely normal.
I put myself through school. My parents DID make me work for things. And no, I am not "the exception." And I am getting really...really tired of this anti millennial trend. Every day I log onto FB my wall is filled with my older friends posting about how terrible we are, how sheltered, how incompetent, how spoiled, how lazy, how immature we are.
"Oh..no, that's not what we are saying" they say in response, after getting repeatedly called "lazy" ruffles my feathers and I finally post back. Or better yet "It's not your fault, it's the way your parent's raised you." As if that makes insulting me better?
All of my friends my age have jobs, are competent, and mostly well adjusted people who take care of themselves. Some of them are already taking care of themselves AND their baby boomer parents. Do some of us do still live in our parents basement? Yes. Do you know why? Because the three jobs we are holding down at once, still can't pay the rent and current cost of living unless you have 5 roommates. (lazy, lazy me living with the in-laws while I worked 12-14 hour days.) Also, because our college degrees, which we are now in MASSIVE debt for, and which we were promised would land us jobs, are not actually getting us those jobs. Do we whine and cry and sit around jobless as you all seem to think? No..we are out there working anything we can get. And guess what? You are right about one thing. We didn't build that economy. Our parents did.
I still maintain that this is just the same harrumphing that every generation does about the next. It's new, it's different than yours, and you are likely only to see the bad. Every single generation thinks the next is lazy, less intelligent, more risque..it's just how it is. It's just that thanks to the advent of the internet, I have to see it everyday.
Now get off my lawn.
~ By GoblinGal
#Millennial #generation #millennialgeneration
"A matter of Millennials." written by Goblin Gal (psssst... she's a "millennial.")
Okay guys, seriously the anti-millennial crap....it's getting old. Even though I know this will surely only get me lectured... I was born in 1986. I am the dreaded millennial..*le gasp* I have had a job since I was 15. Today, I have a great office job, a condo and a car which I pay for all by myself. I am married. By every nuclear 1950's definition of "THIS IS HOW EXACTLY HOW EVERYONE'S LIFE SHOULD BE." I am completely normal.
I put myself through school. My parents DID make me work for things. And no, I am not "the exception." And I am getting really...really tired of this anti millennial trend. Every day I log onto FB my wall is filled with my older friends posting about how terrible we are, how sheltered, how incompetent, how spoiled, how lazy, how immature we are.
"Oh..no, that's not what we are saying" they say in response, after getting repeatedly called "lazy" ruffles my feathers and I finally post back. Or better yet "It's not your fault, it's the way your parent's raised you." As if that makes insulting me better?
All of my friends my age have jobs, are competent, and mostly well adjusted people who take care of themselves. Some of them are already taking care of themselves AND their baby boomer parents. Do some of us do still live in our parents basement? Yes. Do you know why? Because the three jobs we are holding down at once, still can't pay the rent and current cost of living unless you have 5 roommates. (lazy, lazy me living with the in-laws while I worked 12-14 hour days.) Also, because our college degrees, which we are now in MASSIVE debt for, and which we were promised would land us jobs, are not actually getting us those jobs. Do we whine and cry and sit around jobless as you all seem to think? No..we are out there working anything we can get. And guess what? You are right about one thing. We didn't build that economy. Our parents did.
I still maintain that this is just the same harrumphing that every generation does about the next. It's new, it's different than yours, and you are likely only to see the bad. Every single generation thinks the next is lazy, less intelligent, more risque..it's just how it is. It's just that thanks to the advent of the internet, I have to see it everyday.
Now get off my lawn.
~ By GoblinGal
#Millennial #generation #millennialgeneration
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Goblins in Europe!
This
January I hopped over the pond for the first time ever and took a
lovely two week vacation to Europe with my husband. Before this trip
I had only really traveled around the US, I had certainly never left
the continent before. We spent about 4 days each in London, Paris and
Rome. It was so exciting to see all the places I learned about as a
child, like the Tower of London (So awesome, by the way) and the
Coliseum. I had an amazing time. We saw castles and towers and snow
falling on the Eiffel Tower. Beautiful.
I
gotta be honest with you folks, I am not an “endurance” kind of
gal. High energy short bursts? Can do. Two weeks of walking, hiking,
climbing and six story castles? Not so much. By the last day I was
pretty much in tears when my husband said “Hey let’s climb to the
top of that castle!” (Literally the very top.) We walked
everywhere, to monuments, to the subway, to dinner most nights. Of
course it was also winter in Europe, so the weather was just
fantastic. *voice drips with sarcasm* Most of our trip either rain snowed or hailed (suddenly
and violently) on our heads as we walked the streets.
Of
course it was on such rainy, blustery days of walking that we
discovered them, the European geek stores. Not just one nestled away
in some corner, but many! There were comic book shops, game shops,
fantasy shops. They frequented corners and marketplaces in much
greater numbers than I had ever seen in a single city in the US. The
best part, most of them, well they had Goblins, pixies trolls and
more! Needless to say I then proceeded to spend a far amount of my
“walking around” money to increase my personal collection.
This
Goblin warrior came from a shop in Paris called “Jeux Decartes”.
It was mostly a game store, but also had a collection of figurines
that caught my eye from the window display. The first day we went the
store was closed, so we hunted it down later when we had a little
free time. http://www.jeux-descartes.fr/
The
second shop was this cool collectible shop. I did actually prevent
myself from spending any money at this one, but thoroughly enjoyed
wasting some time wandering about the shop marveling at their
shinies.
The
last shop we came across was in Rome. It was called Storia Magia. We found it when were heading towards the Vatican. The weather, as usual, was
awful. It was cold and alternating between rain and pelting us with
frozen chunks of ice. In fact, my husband actually fell on some
stairs outside of the Vatican, it was so slippery. But I digress. We
were walking along the street when we noticed a life sized wizard
statue pointing into a little plaza of shops. Naturally we followed
the wizard to the store.
It
was very cool. It was a mixture of so many things. They had replicas
and models for basically every major Fantasy genre fandom, swords,
décor etc. They even had a section of beautiful quills and nibs for
calligraphy, globes and an astrolabe. The back room, though, was my
favorite. It was a room filled with nothing but goblins, trolls
and fairies. They had a several foot tall troll end table by NYform
trolls. (I didn’t dare even look at the price.) I fell in love with
the NYform Trolls. They are Norwegian, and they look just like the
trolls in the Finish Moomintroll books my Dad used to read to me.
As my dad used to say they're "So ugly they're cute!" (He loved my 90's treasure trolls.)
So I ponied up the dough and got these guys! I love them! I also got this adorable little pixie made by “Le Alps.” (Seen below troll)
So I ponied up the dough and got these guys! I love them! I also got this adorable little pixie made by “Le Alps.” (Seen below troll)
Fun
fact: People in Rome do NOT like you to touch their merchandise. You
know how your mom always used to tell you “Look with your eyes, not
with your hands”? It was literally posted in ever shop on every
shelf. This store was no exception. DON’T TOUCH ANYTHING. I even
got in trouble for rotating the price tag so I could read it. Oops.
Later we went to a toy store, where the shelves filled with the
plastic toys and figurines. A employee yelled at a kid for touching a
plastic toy. Now I understood to some extent in the other store, lots
of breakables. But a toy store? Definite culture shock. Not that I ran around playing with the stuff in stores as a kid, but they took it seriously!
It
was a ton of fun wandering Europe, and it definitely gave me the
traveling bug and I can't wait to go on more adventures in new
places! Seeing all the sites and history from my books was amazing
and it would be awesome to add fantasy art and goblins to my
collection from all over the world. Well that's all for todays ramblings! Thanks everyone for reading and
sharing in my adventure. And remember, do watch out for your sock
drawer Goblins are about!
~ By GoblinGal
#Goblin # Faeries #Europe
~ By GoblinGal
#Goblin # Faeries #Europe
Sunday, March 3, 2013
A tribute to my Dad
I have always tried to stay
professional and upbeat on this blog. I have also tried not too delve to
far into my personal life. However, today is different. Today I find
myself wanting to talk about something very close to me. Today marks
a date that will live with me the rest of my life, and one I will
think about every day for the rest of my life. Today marks the day
that my world shattered.
One year ago today my father passed
away from pancreatic cancer. It was cruel and swift and took him from
our lives in a matter of four very short months. My world was torn
apart in a way that can never fully be repaired. He was everything to
our little family. He raised 3 teen girls by himself, after my mother
passed of breast cancer when I was 12. He remarried and gained 3 more
daughters. He was our rock and a shining beacon of positivity. He was
always encouraging, always proud of us, and always there to pick us
up when we fell.
Why am I telling this to you about this
on my craft blog? Well, because without my father, I would not be the
proud geek I am today. I would not have this blog, I would not make
Link Cats and Goblins.
My father would have never called himself a geek. The term hadn't been reclaimed yet, when he was young, like it has been now. However, when your father sits dramatically at the piano quoting all of the poem of the “one ring” or runs around the house shouting. “Inconceivable!” it becomes pretty obvious pretty quickly.
My father would have never called himself a geek. The term hadn't been reclaimed yet, when he was young, like it has been now. However, when your father sits dramatically at the piano quoting all of the poem of the “one ring” or runs around the house shouting. “Inconceivable!” it becomes pretty obvious pretty quickly.
It was my father who got me reading in
the fantasy genre when I was only eight. I saw a Xanth novel sitting
on a shelf with a cool cover, and when I asked him what it was about
he simply said “Well I guess you'll have to read it and find out!”
He refused to tell me any more details, despite copious begging. He was the one who raised me
on Mel Brooks and The Princess Bride. Dad loved Labyrinth and always
wanted to be a muppeteer for Jim Henson.
The two of us used to go the Library in our little
town and race each other around the shelves trying to beat each other
to the new releases of our favorite series, thus winning the right to
read them first. Dad thought everything you did was amazing, whether
it be a silly little poem or a paper crane. Truly I have never met a
more supportive loving person in my whole life, nor am I likely to
again.
My father never even knew the influence he had
on us. I remember a few years ago I went to the final showing of “The Producers” in
Las Vegas. I was three rows from the stage. At the end of the
performance, Mel Brooks came out on stage. I flipped my lid, a true
fan girl moment. The first thing I did after the show was call my
Dad. His response, “Oh I didn't know you liked him.” I was
dumbfounded.
We always had a good relationship. By
the time I was a in late high school, we had developed a good base
and he treated me like an pretty much like an adult. It allowed us to
interact as adults and develop a closer relationship as friends. He
was such a positive influence on everyone he touched and he never
even realized it. Hell, he would even tell my husband he was proud of
him, which is something my husband was sorely lacking in his own life. And
who wouldn't love a father in law who insisted, practically begged,
to let him dress like Darth Vader at your wedding?
I am in shock and disbelief that almost
a year has passed since he left this world. In some ways It feels
like time has stopped, the clock frozen on the wall. In a lot of
stories, particularly fantasy, you will come across the “tortured
soul” archetype. Someone who has lost everything, or lost their
family, or the one they cared most about. They are in every story. I
will tell you this. Until that day I had never experienced true rage
or true agony. It is something you can empathize with, but never
truly understand. Not until you feel it coursing through you veins
and ripping you apart.
I always think of this quote from “The
Princess Bride”
“Inigo
Montoya: Do you hear that, Fezzik? That is
the sound of ultimate suffering. My heart made that sound when Rugen
slaughtered my father. The man in black makes it now. “
Don't get me wrong, I go on about life
and I strive to be happy. He would be sad to see us languish. He
would want us to be happy. I know that. The pain has receded some,
but I know that it will never fade entirely. I know he is watching
over me. I swear to God some days he is haunting me. (Usually
expressed through electronic devices, especially the radio.) And of
course I miss him. Every day.
I would always tell him my latest
harebrained scheme or costume or art project. He would say “You
don't get that from me.” or “The artistic stuff is from your
mother,” but without him there would be no world to inspire me. No
mercenaries to shout “Inconceivable!” or R.O.U.S's. No Hobbits on
long journeys. There would be no trolls in the woods, and no magical
worlds with a shape surprisingly similar to Florida. The world would
be missing that spark of magic in it. Without him there would be no
goblins.
I will always remember our time
together, and I will always miss you, Dad.
~ By GoblinGal
#Tribute #geektribute #fcancer
~ By GoblinGal
#Tribute #geektribute #fcancer
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